now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
