My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Welp...herpes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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