brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
