How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
