I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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