so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
