hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You pole danced in your parka.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.