the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
