And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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