I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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