We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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