and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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