i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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