Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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