physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
