She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize