Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
