The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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