you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This is my gift to your gina
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
