Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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