smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
