are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
