my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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