try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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