hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
