They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
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ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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