TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
