dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
