so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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