A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
