your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize