I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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