I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
