I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
