why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
