Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
