he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
