I accidentally burped into my bong.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
