is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
two words...techno handjob
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
