Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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