Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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