well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
