Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
