You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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