The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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