she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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