And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
