Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
