If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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