I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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