I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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