i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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