I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
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I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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