sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
