Small penises have feelings too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
