You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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