I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
