OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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