Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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