R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
