So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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