i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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