I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
