ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
