It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
