You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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