I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
