so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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