I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
