That's intense
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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