Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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