I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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